I learned early the world isn’t kind,
Some are held, I felt left behind.
Some hearts grow with the gentle rain,
mine shattered after it knew the pain.

I can’t sleep because i’m always on edge,
every little sound puts me closer to the ledge.
Each creak and every wham disorient me,
I grew up scanning for danger, it was everywhere you see.

I can’t do anything without shivering,
Tears rolling down my face, my cheeks begin to sting.
Who knew dreams could hurt more than reality,
Each night repeats my own mortality.

I close my eyes but my body can’t rest,
the flashbacks come,oh they’re the best!
One moment here, the next I’m gone,
back to the day that went on and on.

The years keep looping, I can’t rewind,
the past invades each part of my mind.
I’m forced to carry the weight I never chose,
Learning to hide it well so nobody knows.

Trauma stole my breath while I learned to speak,
turned my small hands cold and weak.
It buried my laughter so deep underground,
Killing me slowly so I could never be found.

-sana bhatnagar